


patterns of fairytales

by janie_tangerine



Series: the jaimebrienne spite countdown to season eight [18]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Children, F/M, Fairy Tale Elements, Fairy Tale Style, I Blame Tumblr, I MEAN IT THIS IS CAVITIES-WORTHY TOOTH-ROTTING FLUFF, Post-Canon, Spitefic, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, for bad and for good this time, peter falk in the princess bride would have been proud of me tbqh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 03:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18306848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janie_tangerine/pseuds/janie_tangerine
Summary: In which both Brienne and Jaime rehash the bear pit as a fairytale for their firstborn. She has opinions.





	patterns of fairytales

**Author's Note:**

> SOOOOO for this one you have to thank both one of the usual anon AND another one who actually had a good idea instead which I recycled for this one plot - also, I'm using this to participate in the jaime week at dailyjaimelannister on tumblr for the 'favorite quote/moment' day. ;)
> 
> NOW, the Hot Takes anon was:
> 
> I honestly don't even know how to even begin with this one, WHICH IS WHY I'M GONNA JUST LET IT SPEAK FOR ITSELF and show you the *other* anon xD tldr they went like 'but what about jb telling the bear pit story to their kid(s) like a fairytale', and then they specified:
> 
> Aaaaand I went like YEAH OKAY SURE WHY NOT. So: have a prequel-sequel to yesterday's fic featuring the same firstborn set about a year before that one. THIS IS LIKE THE MOST TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF THAT EVER FLUFFED I WARNED YOU. XD
> 
> Other than that: I only own the OC, the title is from The National for variety and I'll saunter back downwards now, have fun. XD

“Will you tell me a story that’s _not_ in that book today?”

Brienne, who had been about to grab Catelyn’s favorite fairytales book, with much thanks to her uncle, leaves her hand hanging. She looks at her daughter, who’s in turn staring expectantly at her from her bed and shaking her head.

“Wasn’t it your favorite?” Brienne asks. She’s been clamoring for stories from _that_ book since her name day, after all.

“ _Yes_ ,” she admits, “but I’ve heard them twenty times. And the others, too. Can I hear a new one?”

Brienne, who has _mostly_ forgotten the great part of stories her septa told her because she’d rather hear or read about valiant knights and only remembers the ones that are not exactly appropriate for a five year old, sits down next to Catelyn’s bed and makes a show of thinking about it.

“And what kind of story would you like to hear?” She asks, figuring that maybe she can make something up, even if her imagination in these cases is… what it is, really. Jaime’s a _lot_ better than she is when it comes to make up stories, but it hadn’t turned out to be a surprise.

Catelyn shrugs, her golden hair falling over her shoulders in a clean, soft wave, and doesn’t Brienne feel glad every day that she got _Jaime_ ’s hair and not hers. Not that she’d have minded, but — still.

“A love story would be nice,” Catelyn decides after a moment. “But not _boring_. It should have some adventure in it, too.”

“Like Florian and Jonquil?”

She scoffs. “Florian and Jonquil are _boring_. And every other romantic story is like that.”

Brienne makes a show of thinking about it. She knows _nothing_ that comes to mind —

Well.

Unless she rehashes _her own_ personal experience. Because after all, there was _one_ moment in her life where she felt like she had been dropped right into one of those fairytales she used to scoff at since the moment she realized she would never be like the maidens in any of them.

“How interesting,” she says, “I think I have one that you can’t have heard already.”

Catelyn looks up at her with _her_ own blue eyes, suddenly looking very, _very_ excited. “Tell me then!”

“All right, all right. So, hm, once upon a time, there was… a lady.”

“Not a princess?”

“No, not a princess. This lady… she lived on an island.”

“Like ours?”

“… Yes, a bit like ours. Not as nice, but close enough. Our lady, she really wasn’t much to look at. Other ladies were graceful, slim, good at dancing sewing and singing. She was… very tall, and looked more like a man than a _lady_ , and she felt ridiculous if she tried to sew or dance or being _graceful_. She didn’t know there was a problem with her until her septa told her that she shouldn’t listen to compliments but look in her mirror.”

“Ew,” Catelyn says, “she sounds bad.”

“The septa? Well, she kind of was, even if she didn’t know better. Our lady was an only child because her brothers all died and her mother did, too. She was betrothed to three people. One died before she turned nine, and the other saw her in a dress, decided she was too ugly for him and refused her at once.”

She almost wants to laugh at her daughter’s outraged face.

“The lady was… very sad about it. Until she realized she was good with a sword and that looking like a _man_ meant she could be a good fighter, and so she picked one up and became very, very good at it. The third man she was supposed to marry told her to give it up, and so she told him she only would if he’d beat her.”

“She _did_ beat him, right?”

“Of course she did.”

“Good.”

Brienne snorts, then goes on. “So, one day this lord comes to the lady’s island and dances with her, not making her feel inadequate for once. The lady immediately fell in love with him.”

“Did they get married then? But then there are no adventures —”

“I have barely started, be patient. So, she spends years thinking about him, and when the lord decides to fight a war to become king, she immediately swears his fealty to him and travels to his camp.” She takes a breath. “She manages to be accepted into his kingsguard, but… she’s too blind to see he’s in love with someone else.”

“Oh,” Catelyn says. “That’s too bad.”

“I know,” Brienne goes on. “She still fights for him anyway, until an evil witch kills him while the lady is supposed to guard him. Everyone thinks it’s her fault… except for another, greater lady who had come to discuss an alliance with the lord and takes _our_ girl into her service instead after convincing her to run.”

“Was she a nice lady?”

“Oh, she was. She was named like you, actually.”

“ _Really_?”

“Indeed. So, Lady Catelyn became _our_ lady’s new liege. And she immediately gave her a mission. See, there were five people fighting that war, and Lady Catelyn’s son didn’t want to be the entire realm’s _king_ , he just wanted his own kingdom.”

“But why?”

“The king died and his son was cruel and unfit to rule, so everyone else rallied. Lady Catelyn’s daughters were hostages in the capital, though, and their side had captured the king’s uncle… and so Lady Catelyn asked _our_ lady knight to bring him back to the capital to ransom him with her daughters.”

“So she had a mission?”

“Indeed she had. So, she escorts her charge to the capital. The king’s uncle was… a _strange_ man. He was the best knight in the whole kingdom, but everyone thought ill of him because he killed his own King years before.”

“He _did_?”

“He never told anyone why, so everyone assumed he was a wicked, evil man. The lady knight thought the same, even if she couldn’t deny to herself that she found him… very handsome.”

“Was he?”

“Yes. Tall, with golden hair and bright eyes and the sharpest smile she had ever seen. Of course, he only was harsh to her, but in hindsight, she didn’t really want to talk to him, as she thought him evil and wicked at that point. They traveled together for a while, and the lady knight sometimes felt prickled by his remarks — he was harsh and he could be crude when japing, but… sometimes he did say things that sounded _right_ as much as she didn’t want to hear them. Until one day he tried to steal a sword and fought her. It was a very good fight, they were evenly matched, but they were too noisy and some brigands heard them and recognized him, for he was a very well-known man in that kingdom. They captured them, thinking to bring them to their own liege lord, another man who was known to be cruel and cunning… but they cut off the golden knight’s right hand so he wouldn’t escape.”

“No!” Catelyn immediately protests. “But if it was his _sword_ hand —”

“I know,” Brienne goes on. “The lady knight was horrified, and in the following weeks as they were brought to their captor’s castle, she tried to help him out for what she could. But _he_ was the one who actually helped her. The brigands wanted to hurt her, and he lied to save her from doing it… and they kicked him in his healing wound instead.” She smiles as she sees Catelyn clutching her blankets. She reaches out, smoothing her hair. “Don’t worry, it ends well. So, our lady knight was… very surprised, because no other man had ever cared for her enough to even wish her good luck or give her respect, and now _this_ one risked his life for her when they didn’t even know each other well. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. Nor she could think that a man who’d do _that_ could be so evil or wicked, you know?”

Catelyn nods, urging her to go on.

“They finally arrived at the castle, where they were allowed to finally bathe and where the golden knight’s hand was treated. They bathed together, and she felt skittish and guilty because she had sworn a vow to keep him safe and he lost his hand, and he also said a few mean things at her… even if she _could_ have been nicer to him, all things considered. Then they apologized to each other… and he told her why he killed that other king, years before. And… the truth was very different from what everyone thought.”

“Was it?”

“That king was mad,” she says, “and he had wanted to burn the entire city along with all its inhabitants. The golden knight, who had served him for a few years and saw him commit many other atrocities, and was only ten and seven, decided to forsake his vow to him and killed him instead. He saved everyone but no one ever asked him why, and everyone thought ill of him for it even if they all hated the king and all thought he was unfit to rule, and _that_ was why he turned into a mean person after. Because no one else would just bother to ask him. But he really had been a hero that day, not a monster as everyone had imagined. The lady knight could barely believe her ears, but then again… everything did add up, like that. And she thought that it was mighty unfair that no one ever gave him a chance, same as no one gave _her_ one to be more than what others thought she could be.” She breathes. “Anyhow, the cruel lord who held them decided to let him go as a gesture of goodwill for the crown… and to keep _her_ in the castle.”

“What? Why?”

“Because she was technically committing treason,” Brienne explains. “She merely told the golden knight to try and fulfill their oath to Lady Catelyn, and was left in the castle with the men who had captured them along the road. They wanted to hurt her, obviously, but she fought them off, and so they decided to have their fun throwing them into a pit with a bear and only a wooden sword so she couldn’t kill it.”

“But — that’s unfair!”

“I know,” Brienne agrees. “All in all, the lady knight thought she was done for, and tried to hold her own as much as she could, figuring that she’d try to last as much as she could before meeting her end. So she fought that bear while everyone else laughed at her attempts… that is, until she hears people arguing and a moment later the golden knight jumps in front of her.”

“He came back for her?!”

“He did,” Brienne confirms, smiling to herself. “He jumped into the bear pit without a weapon or anything just because he was told that if he wanted her he’d have to get her himself rather than paying a ransom. Of course, he had been hoping that his escort would kill the bear in his place because he was too valuable to be left for dead, but he couldn’t know at the moment, nor he could know that he’d have to jump. The lady knight was — floored. No one that she knew would have done such a thing _for her_ , see, and there he was, having lost the part of him he valued most, not going straight to his family but losing time to save her life. He was right, eventually — his escort killed the bear and she could leave with him. The lady knight was so beside herself she could barely believe it. The sun was high in the sky and even if he was tired and weary and wearing dirty rags, she thought she had never seen a most handsome and gallant man in her entire life. Then — she asked him _why_ he came back. She quite couldn’t believe it, and she assumed maybe he thought he owed her a debt for the little she could do to help him on the road. He turned, looked at her… and said he dreamed of her, instead.”

“Oh,” Catelyn says, her voice slightly shaking. “That’s… really romantic.”

“It was,” Brienne admits. “The lady knight was half in love with him already, but at _that_ point… she realized that it wasn’t just _half_ anymore.” Fair, it took her a bit longer to realize that… but Catelyn doesn’t need to know _that_ now.

“And did he love her back?”

“Well,” Brienne admits, “they didn’t get together just _then_ , they had a few more adventures before she found out that he did… but yes, he did, too. But maybe we can tell the rest another time?”

“All right,” Catelyn agrees, sounding satisfied. “Thank you. I loved it.”

“Me, too,” Brienne agrees, ruffling her hair and kissing her forehead before she blows on the candle and leaves the room.

Of course she loves it, too. It _might_ definitely be her favorite, when it comes to… the both of them.

 

 

_One month later_

 

 

“So,” Jaime winks at his daughter as he sits down unceremoniously on the side of her bed and she presses up against his side, “what kind of story do you want tonight?”

“Hm,” Catelyn mutters, thinking about it. “Nothing with dragons. I guess Grandpa likes them, but _one week_ of dragons was boring.”

“Sure it was,” Jaime agrees. “Dragons are overrated anyway.”

“Well, my brother likes them.”

“Your brother has bad taste, but we’ll keep this between us, how about _that_?”

She nods excitedly as she considers the question — Jaime had kind of missed this, but usually it’s one night for him and one for Brienne, except that she had to leave because of crown matters and he had to spend a few days around the island settling farmers’s disputes, so they left Brienne’s father in charge of the children’s entertainment and it seems like he _does_ like dragons too much for Cat’s tastes.

“I guess, maybe something romantic. The last time Mother told me one it was amazing. But I don’t want it boring. And she didn’t read it from a book.”

“We _don’t_ do boring stories here,” he protests, and then he tries to think of something. “So what, if I want to be even with her I also have to tell it from memory?”

“Yes. You should.”

“Very well.” He thinks about it one moment, and then —

Romance _and_ adventure?

“So,” he starts, “once upon a time, there was a knight. Well, he wasn’t a _knight_ yet, but he was a lord’s son. A very important one. But he _did_ want to be a knight very much, growing up. He loved those stories, and he loved imagining himself protecting other people and doing good for the world.”

“But _why_ , if he was a lord?”

“Well, he liked the stories. Also, his brother… well, he was like your uncle Tyrion.”

“And was that a problem?”

Jaime sighs. “Other people thought he brought ill luck and hated him because he was ugly and whatnot, but… our knight didn’t really think that, because he _did_ talk to his brother, and he loved him very much, and so he thought, if he could help _him_ out, why not others?” He sighs. “The problem was that… he grew up with this girl who was… not a witch, I guess, but kind of like one.”

“What did she do?”

“She thought they were destined to be together and he never thought to question that. He grew up thinking she was the right person for him, but he had no idea that she just cared about herself. And when he was fifteen, she told him that if he went to serve the king and join his guard renouncing his title and his lands they could be together _and_ he could get to be the knight he always wanted to be. He believed her, and he said yes.”

“… He shouldn’t have, right?”

“No,” Jaime agrees, moving an arm behind her shoulders. “The king was mad, and he liked to burn people alive. Our knight was fifteen, and by the time he turned seventeen, a war had started and the king wanted to burn the entire city with him when he realized he couldn’t win it. So… the knight killed him, for the city’s own good. But everyone thought him an oathbreaker for killing his king and never asked him why. So… he became someone he never wanted to be.”

“How?”

“If everyone thought him scum than he figured he’d just… stop proving them wrong, you know? He let them call him _kingslayer_ , he only cared about the witch he was in love with who had married the king meanwhile, and for the next fifteen years or so, he only lived for having a few moments with her when she could find time. Then… she conspired to kill her husband, the realm fell into war, the knight finally went to it because he thought fighting was what he was born for, not counting loving his woman, and he was captured by one of the other contenders.”

“I see,” Catelyn says, her eyes narrowing. Jaime wants to ask her if she knows something he _doesn’t_ , but she says nothing, so he goes on.

“He gets captured and spends a year in a dungeon… until the mother of the lord who captured him showed up to free him in exchange for his daughters. Do you want to guess how she was named?”

“ _Hm_. Wait, like me, maybe?”

Jaime raises an eyebrow. “How did you know?”

“I guessed,” Catelyn says. “Go on.”

“So, this Lady Catelyn had this other knight in her service. A _lady_ knight. She was tall, with large shoulders, and she did look like a man, indeed, not counting a pair of really nice blue eyes, but she also wore her armor proudly and magnificently. _Our_ knight was a bit shocked at that, but he did want to get to know her better because he never saw… anyone like her. Of course, since he had quite a bad fame, she didn’t want to hear him in the first place. The knight thought she was being unfair, so… well, in between you and me, he was an arse to her, but then again he was an arse to _everyone_. And at that point in his life he had done many horrible things and he had forgotten about how he had wanted to be a knight and do good in the world once upon a time. Then he sees _her_ , and — she’s there, all proud and honorable and everything a proper knight should be, and she’s gone though a whole lot of horrible things to achieve her dream… and she still didn’t let that get to her. Differently from _him_. So he kind of envies her. Which means he keeps on being an arse to her, and so on. Until at some point he tries to escape and fight her, which goes badly for him because they’re evenly matched and he’s also tired and has been prisoner for a year… and then some bandits show up and recognize them. They decide to bring him to their arse of a lord and since they don’t want to risk any escape attempts… they cut off his right hand.”

“No!”

“They did,” Jaime sighs, hoping she doesn’t put two and two together. “And — the following weeks are really something out of the seven hells for him. He doesn’t think he can live without his right hand because that’s the one he uses to fight, his wrist hurts, the bandits are treating him like dirt and he just wants to die. But then she convinces him not to and reminds him that he has something to live for and that he’s better than what they did to him. And — when the bandits want to hurt her, maybe he tells them a lie to spare her life and gets kicked in the arm for it, but he just couldn’t let someone like _her_ suffer as much as she would have. Not when she had also, well, spent the entire time in captivity making sure he didn’t choke on his vomit when they bad food they gave him came up. She cleaned it off him, too, and he was barely even conscious at times, but he _did_ know that without her he wouldn’t have kept even the slightest bit of dignity. Anyway, they finally are brought to the arse’s castle, and the knight decides to take a bath. He finds the lady in the same pool, too. So… they talk. She’s a bit standoffish, you know, and he’s kind of angry because he _did_ save her on the way, same as she did him, and he was hoping they would stop being enemies, you know? He says a few hurtful things, she gets angry, things happen, and before he knows he’s telling her why he killed his king when he _never_ told that to another soul.”

“Why didn’t he?” Cat asks.

“He just… thought no one would care. No one did care, until then. But — he felt like telling her because he felt like they she was the same as him when he was young, and maybe she _would_ understand.”

“Did she?”

“Yes. Yes, she did, but then the arse of a lord didn’t let her go. Just him. He left, figuring he’d go back to his witch, but then he goes to sleep at night and has this dream were… he sees everyone he thinks he’s ever failed leaving him, he sees his witch leaving him, and then the lady knight appears looking like some kind of goddess and says she’ll keep him safe if she just gives him a sword, and she looks… well, most people think her ugly but to _him_ , she looks beautiful. He woke up and he knew he had to go back for her, so — he went without even thinking, bringing his escort with, until he was back in the castle and found out that they threw her in a bear pit with a wooden sword and a real living bear. He offered to pay her ransom, they said he had to get her himself… and so he jumped. Because he really couldn’t do anything else. Except that he had no idea of how he’d even do it without a hand or a weapon and _she_ tells him to get behind her, of course, because she’s _that_ good. He moves in front of her hoping that his escort will shoot the bear so he doesn’t die… and they do, but really, _she_ had been the one still trying to move in front of him because _he didn’t have weapons_. She was entirely too good for him, you know? Anyway, they got out of the pit and she asked him why he came back, and she sounded like she was surprised anyone would. So he told her the truth.”

“That he _dreamed of her_?”

Jaime raises his eyebrow. “Yes,” he confirms. “And how it is that you knew _that_?”

Cat looks at him with a sheepish stare.

“Well,” she tells him, “Mother actually told me this story already.”

“She did _what_?”

“It was the same I was talking about before. Just, the other way around. From _her_ point of view. But I think I like hers better.”

“Really,” Jaime says. “And how is _hers_ different?”

“Well,” she says, “I think you’re too mean to the knight. I mean, the _man_ knight. The way she says it, it was obvious from the beginning that he wasn’t _so_ bad, and the way you say it, when he saves her from the bandits it’s the least he owes her. But, the way she says it, no one actually ever cared about her so much. She started seeing him different after he saved her the first time, and you’re telling it like it’s no important. Or like it doesn’t matter that he was half-dead.”

“And then?”

“Then, it’s nice to know what he dreams of, but when he goes back for her, it sounds like she did all the work.”

“Well, she _did_.”

“According to Mother, _he_ did the heroic thing and jumped down there for her without anything to fight. And she spent her life thinking no one would defend her or be _her_ knight and instead _he_ was and she couldn’t believe he came for her! And then she realized she was in love with him _then_ and he said he dreamed of her and no one ever told her such a nice thing! And she thought he was the most handsome man she ever saw in that moment! And you’re telling it like he really didn’t do anything.”

Jaime _would_ like to tell her something, but then he opens his mouth and —

Wait a fucking moment.

“Are you _crying_?” Cat asks, and he realizes that his eyes are wet and he immediately reaches up to wipe at them —

With his right wrist.

Cat looks at it, then at him, and he _knows_ she knows. There is no way she _doesn’t_. She might be young, but she’s whip smart and at this point, it _really_ is obvious.

“Oh,” she says, “that was… the two of you?”

He shrugs, smiling down at her. “You found us out,” he admits. “Yes, it was… how we met, I guess. And — it’s not that I didn’t know that was how _she_ thought of it, but —”

“You’re too mean with yourself,” Cat declares. “And _she_ is too mean with _herself_. She’s not _ugly_ , what was she going on about?”

“I know she’s not,” Jaime agrees. “Just, other people think she is. But other people are stupid and I lucked out when I met her.”

“Fine, but she thinks she was lucky meeting _you_.”

“Who knows,” Jaime grins, ruffling her hair. “Maybe we _both_ were lucky in the same way and now we’re even, how about that?”

“Yes, that would be fine,” Cat agrees. “It was a good story. But maybe you should agree on it before telling it to others.”

Jaime smiles to himself, deciding that he _will_ tell Brienne the moment she’s back from King’s Landing.

“You know what,” he whispers, “I think we really will.”

 

 

End.


End file.
